Well, some excitement in The Afterlife this morning! John Lennon,
serving as The Apostle Of Religious Appointments has released 210 new appointments,
but there is only one of note, and it has caused considerable turmoil and,
joy. He has appointed St. Theresa Of The Little Flower to the papacy
vacated by Pope Pius XII when he sacrificed himself to empower The Kingdom
Of God in Its struggle against The United States. She was on the
list left behind by Paul and also on the list given to John at the last
sabbath by Pope Cletus. The Pope, Martin Luther, Abraham and Mohammed
all presented John with lists of female candidates They felt appropriate
to take religious leadership positions in Their respective societies.
This action almost immediately crushed any opposition to John making female
appointments to these societies.
The appointment of Theresa is only opposed because some people think
a woman closer to the era of the Pope she is replacing should have been
chosen. But Theresa has long served as a female advisor to Cletus, and
has often been invited to speak at papal councils on women's issues.
And her close association with Mary and Jesus has made her even more popular
in The Afterlife than she is in the material world.
"This was a very hard decision," John announced, "because there are
so many worthy candidates. I have listened to many voices.
This was not a quickly made decision, but one that was deeply considered.
I hope the lady will be welcomed with the joy and respect she is due."
Pope Cletus immediately announced that he and the other Popes approve
the appointment, and will elevate the papal candidate on the coming sabbath,
as her position sorely needs to be filled. These are the most wondrous
of times!
On another note, a committee of Catholics appeared before Peter saying
They did not represent Cletus, that he did not approve of Their mission,
but They represented many rank and file Catholics. They requested
of Peter that he stop work on the book we are doing on what has happened
to the Popes after Their deaths, and the denouncements that Catholics must
make to enter into The Kingdom Of God.
"What has happened to our Popes," the Catholics complained, "is a private
thing between Them and us, and should not be dragged before the living.
The sanctity of our former Leaders should be left as it is. Let Their memories
not be defiled.. Too much, already, has been revealed about Our Precious
Ones. Let Their secrets remain secrets. And what we must denounce
at The Gates Of Heaven is between us and God. Others do not need
to be made known of it. Let these changes be made by our own leaders
in the material world. Eventually they will realize their errors
and return fully, to The Way Of God. Let them be glorified by doing
so, themselves, without outside interference. We beg of you to stop this
abomination!"
Peter looked at them rather disgusted, then simply answered "No!" and
with a gesture of his hand waved them from The Hall Of Judgment.
The Catholic committee was not pleased.