December 30, 2,005
Jesus Calls The Ladies Of Cincinnati
Well, last email of the year! Let us start by saying that Jesus got Gerald up yesterday morning to work on a special project. The Kingdom Of God literally right now, has too much power. It can't disperse it. It needs more people among the living to take that power and use it to spread it out to the world so The Kingdom Of God can use it to fight the creatures of Darkness. Jesus has prepared a special video for the women of Cincinnati that will give those who will accept it God's power. But in order for this to work, Jesus must have this video played on Cincinnati television at a certain time, New Year's Day. If some station in Cincinnati would play this video there is a good possibility that this experiment would work, that we could begin to restore God's power into the world.
Jesus is asking everyone to spread the news of this request, to email Cincinnati t.v. stations. If you can afford to, call them and ask them to contact us, get the link to the video, record it, and play it 5 p.m. New Year's Day. If this can be arranged, it would be the most phenomenal beginning The Kingdom Of God could have for the new year! If you have contacts in Cincinnati, especially people involved with the t.v. stations there, reach out to them, ask them to spread Jesus' message.
Unfortunately just giving people the video won't work. The only thing that will make it work is to play it on t.v. at the time requested. The importance of this effort is beyond explanation. How badly its success is needed is indescribable. If you can help, Jesus pleads with you, in the name of God, to help. We can win, we can defeat the Darkness, we can save mankind, if the people will only rally to us! We have the power, but without more people to distribute it, it is impotent. God needs His children! He needs them now!
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On another note, the extra terrestrials came to Jesus and said "These things that have been left by our strange visitors would be considered even more valuable if You were to use the bodies of some of our people to go out and bless them. We have two males and two females available that could serve as your conduits. Would You come out and bless these things, put Your power upon them? The people of The Galactic Community would appreciate it." Jesus answered "Most certainly!" He gathered Mary Magdalene, Mary, His Mother, and His step father, Joseph, and They went out in one of the extra terrestrials' scout ships to the pods, and blessed the things in them. Incredibly, the whole process took a little over eight hours! It's so phenomenal that the extra terrestrials have ships that can go from Earth to Jupiter in a few minutes! We're sure the demand for the items on the cargo pods is only going to increase. We are still having difficulty getting them to keep the bids for small items within a reasonable level. The neutral party conducting the lotteries for the items are going to be very busy! Because just about every one has already exceeded the maximum allowed! One party has come forward and said "What if people show these items and make a profit from it? That wouldn't be right." Jesus answered "Well, I really don't see anything wrong with it, but to make people feel better why don't we have it that if people start making a profit on the items in any way, they give 10% of those profits back to the Earth's trust fund?" We haven't got a reply yet, but everyone is pretty sure this will be accepted. Oh, Jesus also added that these profits should go to charity, besides.
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In all the confusion that has been going on We forgot to mention that Joseph returned from his mission some time ago and has joined Mary in her efforts to protect the Saudi royal family from Al Quaida. The plot to assassinate them is still active, no matter how much we chop at it! Everyone involved in it that we eliminate is replaced by somebody else! But We keep attacking! Eventually those hatching this insanity will run out of idiots. Their resources are not limitless. But Joseph really wanted to get into the effort in Saudi Arabia because he says, the Saudi Arabian royal family are descendants of his and Mary's children that fled Israel during the Roman destruction after Jesus' time. So he has a very personal interest in seeing to their safety. It is good to see Joseph back into the fray. We wish his mission to Earth had been more successful. But he made a great effort, and accomplished much good. He has already splintered off that lifetime and it is functioning separately. There was simply too much demand for both of them to be in places at the same time. The Kingdom Of God is so full of splinter Souls that We are wondering if it might be part of the problem We are now dealing with. The experts say no, but We still wonder.
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Here's one of those strange little things from The Afterlife that catches even us by surprise! Mary Magdalene has told us that she's trying to get ideas for skits through to Jimmy Kimmel's girlfriend Sarah Silverman, that she wants Sarah to dress up as her and do skits with the guy that plays Jesus on the show! She's told us of a couple of the skits that she has dreamed up. We don't want to reveal them here, but we think they would be rather funny. You never know what you're going to get from The Afterlife!