A FEW PERSUASIVE SLAPS
By; Gerald A. Polley
Most of my experiences in kitchens have been non violent. But
there have been a few notable exceptions. I have spoken before,
of the obnoxious manager that I was stuck with a few months at
one job. Some of the people he hired were just as bad as him! One
morning one of his biggest buddies, the morning cook, came in
absolutely waisted. The guy was so friggin drunk he could barely
stand but started cooking and seemed to be doing fairly well.
Then, he started being totally obnoxious to the waitresses. I was
watching him when he deliberately pushed three plates off the
shelf so they went crashing to the floor, then started screaming
at the waitress that she wasn't picking up her orders fast
enough. I went over and told the waitress I'd clean up the mess,
and to go get the boss, that the cook was out of control. The
waitress hurried off.
"I want that bitch to clean that up!" the cook
screamed, "It's not your concern!"
"Don't worry about it," I said, "redo these
orders. We need to get this food out to the customers."
"Dear, sweet, kind, Gerald!" the cook moaned. "So
goody goody!" Nobody likes you, you know! Everybody knows
you're a wimp, you're a friggin c***. Nobody appreciates the
stuff you do. They just laugh at you!"
"That's enough!" I said, "Shut up! You don't call
me names!"
The cook came charging around the corner. "I'll call you
anything I want to call you, c***!" he screamed, "You
don't tell me what to do! You're a wimp! You're a nothing!"
"Shut up!" I told him, "And get back to work
now!"
"You don't tell me what to do!" the cook screamed, and
took a swing at me. I brushed it away and laughed at him.
"Don't try that again!" I warned him. "I'll only
tolerate it once." "F*** you, c***!" the cook
screamed, and swung at me again. This time I warded off the blow
and slapped him. He tried to punch me again with the same result.
"Punch me, you f****** c***!" the cook screamed.
"Hit me like a man!" He tried to punch me again and I
slapped him again. He kept repeating the same obscenity and
trying to hit me, and I kept slapping him. Finally I said,
"I only punch men. I slap stupid little boys!"
This enraged the cook even more, and he still kept coming at me.
The boss stood in the doorway for several minutes letting this
continue then finally came in.
"That's enough, Ben!" he screamed. "That's it!
You're done! Go! Get out!" The cook turned to him, enraged.
"You don't run this place, old man!" he screamed,
"George runs this place. You're just window dressing. You're
just here to greet the customers and make small talk. George
tells me what to do! You don't!"
"I said get out!" the boss screamed, "Now!"
"F*** you!" the cook answered.
"Gerald," the boss asked, "would you be so kind as
to escort this gentleman to his car and see that he does not
enter the building again? He is no longer employed here."
"Gladly!" I told the boss. I grabbed the cook's arm,
pinned it up behind him, and kept lifting on it until he went in
the direction I wanted him to go. I got him out to his car where
he continued to scream obscenities. But finally he got in and
drove off. A couple of hours later a deputy showed up. "We
picked a guy up," he explained, "on a drunk driving
charge. He claims he was assaulted here. From the look of his
face something happened to him!"
The boss explained what happened. "I see!" the deputy
remarked. "Well, we won't write up his complaint. We'll keep
him for a couple of days 'til he sobers up and then send him on
his way. If he makes any other trouble we'll simply say as far as
we know nothing happened! He's just making it up because he was
fired."
That afternoon when the manager came in he came straight to the
dish area but the boss cut him off.
"Not a word!" the boss said. "Your buddy's done,
everything Gerald did was totally justified. Not a word out of
you! Do you understand?"
"I want him reinstalled!" the manager screamed.
"He's a good cook. It was the waitress' fault, he told me
so."
"No!" the boss answered, "And that's it! No
arguments!" The manager glared at me and headed off. The
boss just smiled.
Yes, there have been a few violent incidences, to say the least.
But let's just say I hope me and that cook never meet again,
never, ever meet again!
THE END