September 27, 2,006
God Help Us! Muhammed Attacked Again!
It's happened again! Muhammed has been attacked again in The
Afterlife! We barely had gotten the last incident under control,
when a new one has occurred. Muhammed was greeting people who had
recently fallen in Iraq when suddenly somebody cried "They
have weapons! They mean to harm The Prophet!" Muhammed's new
guard made up of two Americans, two British, two Israeli, two
Iraqi, two Afghani, and two Lebanese soldiers quickly surrounded
him. They tried to warn the attackers off, but the attackers
screamed "He's not our Prophet! He's not of God! He attacks
our leaders! Glory to The Shiite! Glory to the truth! Glory to
God's true Prophets!" and they tried to attack Muhammed's
guards who quickly sent them to the second death (destroyed them
forever). Now the rage in The Afterlife against The Shiite is
back to its full intensity. That these creatures of Darkness can
summon enough power to get their agents so far into The Afterlife
is unbelievable! It is believed they are gaining this power
because of Bill Clinton's renewed popularity. This foul creature
of Darkness is using his followers' gullibleness to empower those
attacking The Prophet! We don't think old Bill has that much
power. We think it is the Al Quaida crowd that's somehow
channeling this power that's making these poor souls believe they
can destroy The Prophet, that they can take over his kingdom in
The Afterlife. They can never succeed! But their ego is so
intense they think they can replace The Prophet. We need to get
out Muhammed's messages more than ever. Come on, ABC! The Prophet
needs you!
Well, here's a bit of a disappointment! A friend of ours was
going to call the local ABC station about Muhammed saying ABC was
the only hope for the world and he found out the station doesn't
have any local newscasts! We're going "Huh?" and we
checked it out. Sure enough, they don't! Very strange! Apparently
their advertisers don't care what's going on locally.
Got a question that can be loosely translated as "Do you
think Jesus deliberately caused this row between The Catholics
and The Muslims because The Pope won't hear His message about
Mary Magdalene being His wife?" Well, Jesus isn't answering.
When we asked the question Muhammed said He just smiled, so we
would say it's a very high possibility of the truth! We just wish
we did not have to translate these questions, that they would be
asked in such a way that we could put the people's actual
statements. But there are just some things people cannot call The
Lord Of Heaven!
We congratulate The British on eliminating some more of Al
Quaida's leadership in Afghanistan. Unfortunatley, though they
destroyed these individual's physical forms they created three
more creatures of Darkness, three more demons. After we deal with
Iraq we wish we could get into Afghanistan and blow away a few
demons there! It would take us quite a while to clear out that
whole area. It would take us several weeks to recharge after each
effort, but it could be done! With a little bit of work we could
decrease the demon population in that area by perhaps eighty per
cent! It would sure make things easier for The Lords Of Light!
Jesus also sends his regards to Chris Wallace for bringing out
Clinton. The more he runs his mouth the more people know how
little he did! Sure, he was trying to kill Bin Laden! His people
called Pakistan and warned them the air strikes were coming,
knowing they'd tell Bin Laden and get him out of there. The
Clinton Administration was afraid that if they killed Bin Laden
they'd be counter strikes in The United States and they wanted to
appease the fundamentalists yet appear they were doing something.
If anybody bears responsibility for The World Trade Center
attacks, it's Clinton! If they'd taken out Bin Laden the attacks
might never have happened.
Jesus has also been asked if He thinks Cat Stevens, now known as
Yusuf Islam had a right to critisize The Pope and degrade his
Catholic upbringing by saying he no longer believes The Pope is
infallible. Of course Mr. Islam has every right to critisize The
Pope. The Pope is not infallible, no living man has ever been
infallible! Every one of The Apostles had Their faults. No man is
perfect! And for any religion to claim that their leader is
infallible is blasphemy against God. This dear man has every
right to point out blasphemy!
We've been asked how the murdered mother and her children are
doing from St. Louis, Missouri. They're all fine. The mother's
comments about the woman that killed her family are
unpublishable.
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It's Not A Weekend Game
Long ago we told about the theme parks in The Afterlife where people literally waged war on each other, reenactments of probably every major battle in history where people get shot, bayoneted, blown up, everything that can happen in a battle and are simply picked up, put back together and go back to work Monday, no harm done! Why are these attacks on Muhammed different? Well, in one very simple way. These people actually mean to do Muhammed harm. They're not playing, it's not a game, they actually believe they can destroy Muhammed so their spiritual leader can take over Paradise! That's the difference. They're trying to drive The Prophet away so they can take over. It's not a weekend sport to see if The Confederates can win at Gettysburg, or, if The Russians can win The Crimean War, it's an actual attempt to take over part of The Afterlife and use It for their own sinister purposes. That's why Those in The Afterlife are so irate! And shouldn't They be?