COFFEE TABLE DECORATION
By Gerald A. Polley
Major West was a light sleeper. She had gotten home from a
busy shift, watched the programs her machine had recorded, and
gone to bed. Some time during the day she heard a noise and
awoke, but hearing nothing else had gone back to sleep. She got
up, showered and dressed, and headed for the kitchen to get some
breakfast. As she did so, she felt a draft and looked into the
livingroom. The patio door was open, and on the coffee table in
front of her couch was a man's body! Blood covered the coffee
table, and a great deal of the carpet!
The Major walked over, being careful not to touch anything and
examined the body. Something was sticking out of its back and she
realized it was her debating trophy from high school. "How
had it gotten on the coffee table?" she thought. Then she
remembered her teenage neighbor from a few houses down had come
over the day before, for a little girl/woman advice. Her mother
had died a couple of years before, and she had kind of made the
major a neighborly substitute. the girl had taken the trophy off
the shelf and was admiring it and apparently had not put it back.
The major heard footsteps. The curtains over the patio's sliding
door parted, and a handsome young man looked in.
"Got another one!" he remarked. "Tell the coroner
he'll have another stop, and to get over here as quick as he
can!" The man looked at the major and remarked, "You
haven't touched anything, have you, ma'am?"
"No," the major answered, "I just found him! Who
is he?"
"Well, I don't know his name," the young man answered,
"but if he's like the others he's a rapist! Apparently the
man who installed your security system has been selling him and
his friends the access codes. Seven women have been killed in the
last few months! The installation guy had an accident, fell off a
ladder, and got a steel rod driven through his head! When his
sister was closing out his accounts she found records of his
little transactions and called us! So we've been checking every
house that this guy installed systems in. Because today was the
day that these guys usually struck. We've found four more like
him, dead by various means, apparently accidents, but an awful
lot of accidents, ma'am! One somehow got hung in a clothesline!
Another got tangled up and fell in a swimming pool and drowned!
Another was electricuted when he was turning off the alarm
system! The last one was shot by his intended victim! She just
happened to be cleaning her shotgun when he burst into her house.
She didn't even intend to shoot him! He startled her and the
weapon discharged! He got two loads of birdshot in both eyes! And
now," he pointed to the man on her coffeetable! "The
coroner's screaming that these can't all be accidents, but you
can see right here, where he tripped on the carpet and went down.
What did he land on, anyway?"
"My high school debating trophy," the major answered,
"and I'd like to have it back!"
"I'm sure the coroner will clean it up and return it,"
the young man continued. He yawned. "Sorry about that!"
he remarked. "Usually at this time I'm just getting up. But
we're shot handed and I'm pulling a double. I usually have the
midnight shift." "Well!" the major commented,
"Something we have in common, officer! I work the late
shift, too! Maybe we could get together for coffee some
time!"
"Like that!" the police officer answered. "I've
got your number. Not too many people up the same times I am!
Would enjoy the company!"
"Can I get some breakfast?" the major asked.
"Go right ahead!" the officer agreed. "I'm sure
the crime scene people won't worry about the kitchen. He never
got there! The detectives will want to ask you a few questions,
but I'm sure they won't keep you too long!"
"Oh, I'm sure they won't!" the major agreed. When she
got in the kitchen she picked up the phone and dialed a number.
"Suppression Unit," a voice answered. "This is
Major West," the major commented. "I think Flap Flap
has been at my house. Looks like he's been busy last night! Would
you send somebody to make sure everything goes smoothly?"
"Someone's on their way!" a voice answered.
The major hung up the phone. She would be anxious for her shift
to end tonight. She would be waiting for a phone call! She hoped
the officer wouldn't be too tired!
THE END
Say nothing of my religion. It is known to God
and myself alone. Its evidence before the world is to be sought
in my life: if it has been honest and dutiful to society the
religion which has regulated it cannot be a bad one.
( Thomas Jefferson )