I am afraid that our efforts to reach Yoko Ono and have her accept her husband's Apostleship and ascension to The Rule Of The Kingdoms Of God has caused an unfortunate incident. Yesterday afternoon a committee from different European churches came to The Holiest Of All and asked for an audience. I granted them one. They announced that they were acting on behalf of the people and had come to state their grievances on the Apostle's asenscion. They said under no circumstances would they allow a woman of Asian descent to take the place of Mary Magdalene or The Virgin Mary. It was simply unacceptable and would not be permitted, that they had to make a strong and defiant protest. This woman had already been replaced by a suitable Christian woman of European ancestry and that should be satisfactory. If this Apostle was to take the place of Lord Peter, a European woman must be his Consort and not an Asian. It was just unthinkable! They said they were speaking on behalf of all those who worshipped Jesus in Europe who could not accept this absurdity.
Without hesitation I asked these individuals to leave The Holiest Of All. When they were outside I summoned The Angelic Guard and told them to put these people out of The Kingdoms Of God. They might be welcomed elsewhere, but they were no longer welcomed among my followers! The spokesperson of the group cried I could not do this, they had a right to make a protest, and I informed him I was God, I could do anything I wanted to do and I wanted to get him as far away from me as possible as quickly as possible, and that was the end of it! So these individuals are no longer residents of any part of my Kingdoms. They have found shelter elsewhere and are not doing that badly, but they have taken their attitudes elsewhere, and I have made it quite clear that there are to be no such attitudes again! I have said that if this woman responds and supports her husband she may take her place beside him in The Kingdoms Of God, and that is the end of it! There is no discussion, there is no question, there is nothing else. I have said that this is what is to be, and that is it! And all the world had better understand that. Anyone else that approaches me and says they cannot accept this decision can do the same thing that these people have done, leave my presence and never return, EVER! Such attitudes will not be tolerated! Below is the letter I sent to The Pope concerning this situation.
The Virgin Mary has written a letter to The Pope today asking him to have every Catholic choir in the world sing John Lennon's love song to his wife, Yoko "Remember The Springtime" on Valentine's Day. Unfortunately The Polleys will not be able to send it out officially until Valentine's Day itself. But if anybody would like a copy of that letter beforehand, contact them. They would be more than glad to send it to you. But there is no time to do everything that needs to be done! And too many are crying out to speak on this matter.
I have received a strange report that there are clergy condemning Salma Hayek because she breast fed a starving baby in Africa because the men there believe that breast feeding women cannot have sex. Why would they believe such a thing? Actually, the hormones produced during intimacy are beneficial to a growing child. How some of these foolish things come into acceptance I cannot understand! I salute Mrs. Hayek and I encourage her efforts to stop this barbaric practice! And I condemn any minister that speaks out against her! Women have breasts for one purpose, to feed their newborn children. They are not ornaments for men to play with, they serve a function and that function should be used! Men should have no fear of being with their wives while they are nursing and being intimate with them. Such foolishness is beyond understanding when they are told not to. Sacred and beautiful things are made evil by the ignorant and this should not be!

Gerald doesn't usually like dreaming about people where he works, but he had a break from the usual nightmares the other night when he dreamed about one of the ladies that work there. But it had nothing to do with work. He dreamed we were trying to get custody of a little girl who was literally being tortured by her family because she was delivering God's true messages which were against their religious teachings. The girl from work was our lawyer and her arguments were superb! She just beat down the parents' lawyers who were being paid for by a couple of fundamentalist churches that didn't want to admit that they'd driven Jesus away. We actually won the case and the obnoxious judge who is always in Gerald's dreams gave us custody of the child, though he said it irritated him to the bone. But what was being done to the child in the name of religion was totally unacceptable. It's just nice to have a good dream once and a while. You get so tired of the oppressive nightmares! Sooner or later we're going to find out who's causing them and they'll wish they'd never been born!

Your honor, I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.
( Groucho Marx )