IMAGINATION'S PLACE
FICTION
"NOT IN OUR
NEIGHBORHOOD!"
By; Gerald A. Polley

The Imperial shuttle was practicing total stealth. For the last few feet of its descent it used compressed air through its thrusters so it would leave no burn marks on the parking lot where it settled. The Imperial commander quickly spread out his troops. When they were in position he signaled the mortar crew. They brought out their weapon and began to set it up. Suddenly there was a man among them, swinging a great axe and knocking them to and fro. The commander looked around, startled, and saw that the rest of his men were already on the ground. He reached for his weapon, but before he could draw it something took him in the side of the head. When he regained his senses he found a woman standing over him. She, too had an axe that was being held in front of his face.
"Oooh! This one's cute!" she called to her companion. "Wish I could take him home and play with him for a while."
"Out of the question!" came her companion's voice. "Get him up!"
The woman held out her hand. The commander took it and was pulled to his feet. Without instruction the woman headed off and began to gather up his men, dropping them one after another by the back of the shuttle, and throwing their weapons inside. Some of them were beginning to regain consciousness. One of his subcommanders looked like he was about to jump the woman, and the commander snapped "Stand down! They're his warriors. Don't resist!"
"Couldn't if you wanted to," the male's voice put in again. "When are you Imperial boys going to get the message that this is private property, and you are not to interfere around here?"
"It would've been a perfect strike!" the commander answered. "She is his worst enemy. Those she is meeting with oppose him, also. The weapons would be identified as the local terrorists', no one would have ever known it was us. One of his greatest problems would be solved."
The man shook his head. "He doesn't want her killed! He wants to destroy her politically, take her out in his own way, or maybe break her and force her to serve him to keep her immortality. You don't want to mess in our operations! Now pick up your toys, get back in your shuttle, and get out of here! Don't try to do any operations here again, or next time I may let her play with you for a little while in a way you wouldn't appreciate."
The commander looked horrified. "We will withdraw," he sighed. "Our orders are not to resist if challenged. But we could help!"
"It's not the kind of help we want!" the woman put in, coming over. "It's because of people like you who couldn't stay home and mind their own business that we're in the mess we're in. Now, toddle on home, little boy!"
The commander grimaced. Having a woman treat him in this manner seriuosly injured his pride, but he was well aware that this woman could undoubtedly rip him apart with one hand, let alone cut him to shreds with her weapon. These were not ordinary beings. They were far from ordinary!
He motioned to his men and they gathered up their equipment. "Oh!" the male remarked, "I'm not gonna report this, you are. You will explain to The Imperial Emperor of this world that you violated his standing orders and were going to be a bad boy! We'll let him decide how you should be punished."
The commander sighed. "By your Imperial command!" he managed. "Your instructions will be carried out."
He looked towards the woman who was now further off looking towards the nearby city. "She doesn't really EAT them, does she?" he managed.
The male laughed. "No!" he answered. "We don't know how that story ever got started, but no. Our women don't do that. They might cut 'em off, if a man is naughty, but they don't eat them!"
The commander sighed, got back on the shuttle, and they lifted skyward. His subcommander looked to him and remarked "With warriors like that, how can they be losing?"
"Because their enemy's just as nasty as they are," the commander answered, "if not more so. I wish they would let us help! But now I have to go to the Imperial representative, put my fate in his hands, and hope that The Emperor Of This World is in a good mood when he speaks to me." "Let us pray!" the subcommander agreed, "Let us pray very strongly!"

And Samson took hold of the two middle pillars upon which the house stood, and on which it was borne up, of the one with his right hand, and of the other with his left.
And Samson said, Let me die with the Philistines. And he bowed himself with all his might; and the house fell upon the lords, and upon all the people that were therein. So the dead which he slew at his death were more than they which he slew in his life.
Then his brethren and all the house of his father came down, and took him, and brought him up, and buried him between Zorah and Eshtaol in the buryingplace of Manoah his father. And he judged Israel twenty years.

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