"Yes sir!"  the Commander answered.  "We've received a lock on signal.  You can beam down to their receiving station any time."
     "Then I'm going!"  the Ambassador answered.  "The sooner I get to this Speaker thing, the better!  I want these things out of here!"
     He stormed off and the bridge officers sighed with relief.  "May The Emperor Of The Dead help The Humes!" the Commander muttered, "They're going to need him!"
     The rest of the officers nodded in agreement and quickly busied themselves. 
     As the Ambassador arrived at the receiving station a female Hume greeted him and escorted him to The Speaker's office.  Though several Humes were already waiting in the outer chamber the Ambassador was ushered right into the inner one, and the female announced him with that strange look, and quickly departed. 
     "What is it about my name," he asked, "that causes this strange reaction with your people?"
     Speaker Panguene smiled.  "That would take a considerable amount of explaining," he answered, "as your females do not menstruate, and I really do not have time right now.  I am extremely busy, Ambassador!  But as we wish no difficulties with The Empire I have granted you an immediate audience.  What is the problem?"
     "The problem is," the Ambassador answered, "you have stolen Pulp territory!  This system is ours!  We explored it fifty years ago and laid claim to it.  We want you creatures out of here!  We need this system.  But I've got one question.  Where in the hell...is that your word for the place of torment?...did that planet come from?  We know this is the correct system but our records show no such planet!"
     The Speaker looked out the window and smiled.  "Oh!  We built it," he answered.  "There was plenty of material here, used a few of our ships to move a planetoid in position, added some asteroids, giant ice crystals, and oxygen chunks, then heated the core.  A colony fleet with 75% of the inhabitants of my native country on our home world  is on its way here.  By the time they arrive the ozone layer will have built up and we can start putting down settlements.  They'll have to be sealed and shielded at first, until the planet settles down, but in two-thousand years we'll have a thriving planet the same size as our home world!  And yes, that is the correct word.  When we arrived, Ambassador, we found no sign that anybody had ever been in this system, no bouys marking it or anything to show that anybody had claimed it."
     "We of The Pulp," the Ambassador answered, "do not feel that such things are necessary!  The mere fact that we have explored a system and have the records of it noting the star positions and planetory positions at the time is all the evidence we need that we own a place."
     "Well," the Speaker answered, "if you have such records and they prove true then we certainly do have a problem!  Would you permit us a day to examine them and verify your claims?  If they are true then we will definitely have to discuss alternatives."
     The Ambassador snorted.  "We are not used to having our word questioned!" he answered.  "But I suppose yes.  That is reasonable.  Twenty of your time periods.  I will return when they have passed.  Thank you, Speaker!"  The Ambassador quickly left and returned to his vessel.  Going to his quarters he activated his computer.  "Bring up our information on human anatomy," he ordered, "I want to know what menstruation is!"  He then sat back to wait.

 Page  35

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