As I mentioned in another article the police Chief and I in one community where I lived were not the best of friends.  But when I was being wrongly accused he was the first to come to my defense.  He didn't put up with very much nonsense.
One morning I pulled in to work at the usual time a little before three. The restaurant closed at 11 and everybody was usually out of there by midnight so I would have the place all to myself until about 7 when the first of the morning crew would come in.
I went through my usual procedure of opening up the restrooms as these were the areas I always cleaned first.  As I was taking the trash out of the ladies room I heard a noise.  Checking the booths, to my absolute amazement, I found a woman sitting on one of the toilets!  I tried to rouse her but had no success, whatsoever.
I then called the police.  Two officers came in and tried to rouse her and could not.  They finally summoned an ambulance and took her out.
I went back to work thinking nothing of the incident.  A couple of days later the Chief called.  "Rev. Polley," he requested, "can you come down to the station for a few minutes?  There's something that we need to discuss!"
"Sure!"  I answered.
The police station was only a five minute walk away.  I was ushered right into the Chief's office.  To my surprise I found the woman from a few nights before sitting there.  The Chief was obviously in a mischievous mood.
"Gerald," he began, "do you know this lady?
"Why yes," I answered, 'She's the lady we found in the restaurant a couple of nights ago."
"When you found her," the Chief asked, "did you, in any way, touch her that would be considered inappropriate?"
"What?  I asked.
"The lady claims," the Chief continued, grinning from ear to ear, "that you took advantage of her condition and sexually assaulted her!"
This time it was ME that grinned.  "That's preposterous!"  I answered.  "I couldn't even get her off the toilet!  It took two ambulance attendents to lift her and carry her out!  The two police officers can testify to that!"
The Chief nodded.  "About what I thought!"  he continued.  "I just wanted your comments to make it official."  He turned to the woman.  "Madame," he remarked, "these charges are ridiculous!  I have four witnesses that will clearly testify that you were in no condition to KNOW what was done to you.  I am not saying that someone          COULDN'T have taken advantage of you in the condition you were in, but Rev. Polley is highly respected by everyone on the force, though we do not always agree with his opinions.  We know that he is a man whose word is impeccable.  I would not suggest you continue with these accusations.  If you do you will only be publicly humiliated.  Let us consider that this complaint was never made.  I think it will be best for all concerned."
The woman stared at me. "REVEREND Polley?"  she muttered.  She finally shrugged.  "If no one is going to believe me," she snapped, "I suppose it is hopeless to try to get vindication.  All right.  I'll withdraw my complaint.  But I do not think it is right!"
She rose, snapped "Good day!"  and left.
The Chief sat back chuckling, tearing up the form he was holding.  "Sorry about that!"  he remarked, "But that one's a REAL winner!"
I nodded.  "Must've been pretty embarrassing," I remarked.  "Probably looking for some way to boost her ego."
"Precisely!"  the Chief agreed.  "Thanks for coming by!"
"Oh!"  I remarked as I was going out the door.  "You ought to tell those guys that are following me that they ought to use different vehicles once and a while.  Seeing the same two cars all the time every morning is a dead givaway and I really wish they wouldn't come to the church services.  It disturbs the vibrations!"
The Chief laughed.  "I'll tell them!"  he answered.
I returned home and my wife and mother asked what the trouble was, and I told them nothing serious, just a lady that was a little bit confused....confused, to say the least!