Be it known to all that I have received a petition from the spiritual leaders of Egypt concerning the murder of Marwa Sherbini in a courtroom in Germany, where she was about to testify against a 28 year old man who had insulted her on a child's playground because she asked him to give up a swing to her three year old son. The people of Egypt are asking me to declare this a terrorist act and to take full retalliation as would be taken in any suicide attack or race murder committed by a person claiming to be Islamic. After hearing the evidence in this case I did so declare.
But because of the circumstances and the fact that this woman was three months pregnant I have instructed that instead of ten souls being destroyed who support this individual 50 be destroyed. However, 20 individuals of the man's family that committed this atrocity have come forth and offered to sacrifice themselves to give their loved ones a chance for eternal life. The Egyptian people have accepted this offer as fair exchange. It would meet the ten for one criteria.
However, they are a merciful people and offer an alternative. If this man is tried, convicted, and promptly hung they will ask no additional punishment. However, if he is simply imprisoned and in a few years released, they will not accept this as just punishment and demand full retaliation. Therefore, the decision is put to the German people and their courts. If this individual is duly punished for the hainous crime that he has committed, then all will be satisfied. But if his crime is excused and he is given lieniency full punishment will be extracted. This is my formal Decree on this matter. It is now up to the people of Germany rather or not they will dispense justice.

I have received a petition from the family members of Michael Jackson in The Afterlife saying that one New York Rep. Peter King, Republican, has insulted their deceased loved one, speaking well known lies about him and condeming the press for speaking about him and his fans for praising him. They have asked me to banish this individual forever from my Kingdoms for committing this act of racial hate.
Under the current circumstances I can do nothing but comply with their wishes. Apparently this good representative, and I use this term very loosly, has forgotten that Michael was tried on these charges and acquitted. It was shown that these accusations were made by a mentally unstable woman who encouraged her son to make false statements and were brought forward by a racist district attorney that was determined to ruin the reputation of a well known person of color.
There is no question that the charges that this representative makes are false. Though many will claim that they are true for years to come. The derranged people of light complection will do all in their power to destroy the reputation of a good man of color, to promote the profound sickness in their souls. Any that make such accusations knowing in their hearts that they are completely false, will receive the same fate as this obnoxious senator. They will be banished from my Kingdoms forever. Undoubtedly they will also be banished for other crimes. But for this one, especially, will they be put out. Thou shalt not bear false witness, thou shalt not falsely accuse another to try to raise your own standard.

We complain about racism, yet many feel we are racists, ourselves because we would not let a homosexual of color into our house, or, an Asian homosexual. This has nothing to do with race, whatsoever. It is not the people's race that we are rejecting, it is their sickness, which is totally unacceptable. If a homosexual of color comes into our house to discuss any other matter with us they are welcome. As long as they do not praise homosexuality and say it is aceptable, they are welcome. If there are other matters that concern them, that they want us to work on, we would be more than glad to work on them with them. But under no circumstances will we accept homosexuality. It is not a matter of race, it is a matter of insanity, and that must be clearly understood. We are not racists!