1. ABBOTT & COSTELLO MEET THE WHACKY ALIENS
whacky Martians are returning home they come across a
launched years before by a crazy Earth scientist. The two crewmen are
suspended animation. The Martians revive them and take them with them
Mars. The crewmen are Abbott & Costello.
When the Martians arrive home, they find they are the only sexually active males left, and their government orders that they be cloned, to satisfy the needs of the millions of Martian females.
The robot medic, however, is programmed to take cells from everyone on the ship, and clones the two humans as well as the Martians!
When the Martian government finds out, it sends out its killer robots to destroy all the human clones and, the originals. Unfortunately for the robots, the Martian females have alredy fallen in love with the human clones, and an hilarious battle ensues in which all the robots are destroyed and the spaced out Martians and two humans take over Mars.
In the last scene of the movie the Martian leader is watching his females scatter into the city with the human clones, and stands slowly, shaking his head and muttering, "There goes the neighborhood!"
2. SPOOKED AGAIN!
& Lou play the sons of the original Spooked
They were raised by their mothers and didn't even know their fathers
owned the hotel until after they had inherited it.
They have a multitude of trouble with the ghosts, but the real hilarity of this movie is the two children of the maid's daughter now grown up and working in the hotel herself, as she was widowed in the war.
The nine year old boy is the reincarnation of Colorado Grump and the two year old girl is the reincarnation of Crystal Kate.
Lou is beginning to fall in love with the pretty maid and the children have no liking to THIS idea, at all, and do everything in their power to sabotage the budding romance, much to Lou's dismay. In the end, however, victory is won and in the movie's conclusion the two young people now grown to adulthood, return to the hotel and greet Lou warmly as father.
Half a dozen brothers and sisters and their mother rush out to greet them, also. As the scene fades Bud turns to Lou and warns him, "If you don't stop havin' kids there'll be no more room for customers!" He then puts his around Lou and they walk together into the hotel.
1. NOT A GHOST OF A CHANCE!
this latest Abbott & Costello production Abbott
plays a marriage
broker and Lou plays a desperate young man who must get married to a
of a certain family before his 21st birthday, to end a curse that has
his family for generations. He also plays the Spirits of six of the
man's Ancestors who go through all kinds of shennagins trying to get
descendant married because those who originally pronounced the curse
no intention of letting their foes off the hook.
They fail time and time again, as Lou is rejected by several possibilities. Then, they come across three young ladies who are not only interested in the chubby little prospect, but can't decide which one will marry him.
In an hilarious wedding scene each sister tries to get rid of the other one and take her place.
The clock is striking twelve on the eve of the young man's 21st birthday when the minister finally pronounces the happy couple man and wife. On their honeymoon a lawyer arrives to inform Lou that an earthquake has occured at his family's abandoned gold mine in Brazil, and the shaft has flooded with crude oil. He is now a multi millionaire!
As Lou runs off to tell his new wife, his Ancestors give a cheer of glee and walk off into the clouds.
2. ALL SCREWED UP
& Lou play junk dealers who buy the art collection
of a notorious
philanthropist which he liked but everybody else thought was junk.
Lou has a nervous habit of tapping his fingers on things and doesn't know that the carving he is tapping on the frame is actually the controls to the device that was left on Earth by an alien, decades ago, and was used for transdimensional travel. At the same time, in another dimension, two evil criminals who look exactly like Bud & Lou are examining the same piece of art in their dimension, which they have just stolen from a museum because it's extremely valuable there. The portal is activated, the four men trade places, and an hilarious set of circumstances take place as each pair tries to survive in the opposite's world, and get back to their own.
Humphrey Bogart appears in this production as the detective in the alternate universe who at first does not believe this fantastic tale, but then realizes its truth and helps get the two back to their own universe before their bumbling completely destroys his. In the end everyone gets back where they belong but not without a great deal of laugh-provoking difficulty!
3. TROUBLE IN THE DONUT'S HOLE
& Lou play two bumbling futuristic government
agents who must
find a missing government scientist, who is the only one who can save
world from an impending disaster. But the scientist has disappeared
an asteroid called The Donut.
When Bud & Lou's spaceship arrives they discover The Donut is, in reality, a gigantic time machine which the scientists accidently activated, causing each one to be sent into a different place in the past.
Unable to tell which scientist went where, the boys must track down all four and bring them back. In doing so, they have an hilarious set of adventures with Cyrano DeBergerac, the children of The Four Musketeers, The Count of Monte Cristo, and Marie Antoinette!
The boys succeed in the nick of time, of course, and the day is saved by using the time machine to send the spaceship that is about to hit the Earth, two days into the future, which causes it to miss the Earth and then some!
The movie ends when the beautiful Musketeer's daughter comes up to Lou and says in a cooing voice, "Didn't you promise to show me your world?"
As she walks off, Lou looks back over his shoulder and goes, "Wooo, wooo!"
1. ACES HIGH FOR AN ANGEL
Lou plays an angel who helps Bud, a compulsive gambler, kick the habit and meet the woman who will become Lou's mother in the future so history will not be changed, then Bud will get into Heaven, and, Lou will get his wings.
2. THE DASTARDLY GHOST OF GALLOPING GULCH
plays a young fellow that's killed by a family that owns
in the 1800s because he finds gold there. From then on he haunts the
and the descendants of the people that killed him, causing them all
of grief through the years and Bud plays the different descendants Lou
torments over the years.
The movie ends with Lou being reincarnated as Bud's son. In the final scene Lou is laying in his crib with a big grin and a tiny voice whispers, "I'm gonna be a bad little boy! I'm gonna be a bad little boy!"
1. TANK HAPPY
the commander of a World War Two tank. Lou is his
Harpo Marx is their driver. Groucho Marx is their commanding officer.
Marx is the company mechanic. W.C. Fields is the Corps Commander, and
West is an American lady running the local whorehouse.
During night maneuvers Bud and Lou's tank accidently crosses the river on a loose barge and ends up on the tail end of a Grman tank column! It's not until daybreak that all concerned discover the error and an hilarious tank chase and battle across the French countryside ensues.
The weary tankers hiding from the Germans, take three whacky German prisoners played by the Three Stooges. The Germans chase the tank to the river where they are met by the Americans and the lone tank is caught in the middle of the river as the two armies battle it out.
The tank finally emerges on the far side with The Three Stooges hanging on for dear life. Great Abbott & Costello!
2. VIVE LA FRANCE
by Cecil B. DeMille. The French Revolution as you
seen it before! Starring The King & Queen Of France and a
cast. Bud & Lou are bumbling scientists that accidently develop
machine and go back in the past and mess up The French Revolution
One of the most elaborate productions Bud & Lou have ever been
with, and also much longer than their usual films, but absolutely
by the public and critics alike.
1. BATTY MAN
& Lou play the two zany scientists with the
machine. Though the government has strictly forbidden them to work on
again they cannot resist.
They open a passage into another dimension where the comic book superheroes actually exist, and cause several of them to be brought into our dimension, where they prove to be not quite so super.
They try to carry on their crime fighting pursuits in our dimension and get into no end of trouble, from which the two zany scientists must rescue them, until they finally return them to their own dimension, going there themselves, to escape the federal agents bent on locking them away for a good long time.
The movie ends with the federal agents blowing up the scientists' laboratory and saying "That's the end of that!" But one of the agents remarks, "But what if they can build another portal over there?"
"Don't even think of it!" the senior agent warns. "Don't even think of it!"
is just good basic, Abbott & Costello. Lou talks
Bud into buying
a run down health spa which was once famous for the energizing elixir
Bud, being an advertising executive, begins to republicize the elixir while Lou runs the spa, itself. Absolute comic chaos ensues!
Of course there are dozens of beautiful women and handsome men for the bumbling Lou to get into all kinds of hilarious situations.
In the end Lou discovers that why the elixer is not working like it used to is that it was being manufactured from a different water source. When they tap the old water source the elixir begins to produce its old results, and the resort returns to its former glory!
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