November 14, 2,008
An Open Letter From Speaker Gerald Polley
To The Current Prophet Of The Mormon Church
Most Profound Greetings!
First of all my apologies for not using your name! But I have been asked by God The Father and The Prophet Joseph Smith to address you as The Prophet Of The Church. I, in no way, mean any offense by not using your name. I am merely following the instructions that I have been given.
I am writing you pertaining to the letter that was sent to you by the current Steward Of The Kingdoms Of God, John The Son Of Zebedee concerning Jesus' abandoning of mankind and his desire that you arrange that we be able to adopt a young woman from your congregation to serve as my conscience, to protect the innocent among you and to work as a courier between me and your church, and, that he desires financial assistance to make this effort possible.
I cannot tell you how petrified I am of this idea! I have not thought I would be a good parent but as it is the desire of God I would do my very best in the situation. If you could find some way of helping us sell some of my manuscripts and perhaps some of our music, you do not know how much we would treasure your choir singing some of our songs, so we would have some finances available, I would provide a hundred thousand dollar trust fund for this young woman that would give her an allowance each month while she was with us, and then when her period of service was completed would be hers for the rest of her life. If all went well I would certainly try to add more to this fund so when she came of age she would have a little income. There are other matters I would like to discuss pertaining to her, but those discussions would have to be face to face and could not occur until we had her protection. Other things that I would insist upon were mentioned in the letter.
I had a dream that this young lady arrived with her parents, a lawyer and her two younger sisters. If it is true that this young woman does have siblings they must be assured that she would not be taken away from them. She would be able to correspond with them and if we can get things going, and have space be able to visit. Though it is requested if possible, that she take our name. Again this is the desire of God, so it will be understood that she is a part of our family and under our authority. I wanted to make you aware of these things.
Here is the section from an email that we sent to our friends at KROQ in Los Angeles.
As we say, everyone that works with us in The Afterlife is trying to find some way of making this proposal pleasing to you, and acceptable to the young lady. There is one more thing on the back of this letter. A special request from Joseph Smith, himself, made directly to this young person.
God's Representative On Earth, Speaker Gerald Polley
1013 1/2 N 3rd St., Bismarck, ND 58501
(701) 323-0241 email@example.com
One of the problems that we would have with children is that some of the things that are readily acceptable now would not be acceptable to us.
Take for example, make up. Spiritists do not believe in it. Young women living with us wouldn't be able to use it. It would probably be one thing that would be very unpleasant to them, and we are sure we'd get comments from other young ladies.
We also believe that girls should dress as girls and boys as boys. We would expect daughters to wear dresses or blouses and skirts to school, and not jeans or slacks. Jeans might be permitted in cold weather while going to school, but they would have to be changed while in school. Jeans could be worn for outdoor activities, but not for every day dress. And outfits could not be too revealing. We do not believe in public exposure especially by young girls, which seems to be very popular nowadays.
Another matter would be perfume. As Gerald is allergic to it if young ladies in the house wanted to use it they would have to put it on after they left the house and make sure they didn't refresh it so it would be strong when they got home.
Another problem is fabric softener. Gerald can't tolerate it. No clothes in the house could be treated with it, the same for scented detergent..simply can't use it! All clothes would have to be washed in scent free detergent.
These are all small little things, but they would probably be a nuisance to some young girls trying to get along with their peers. And there definitely wouldn't be any thong bikinis on the beach, perhaps modest bikinis, but not thongs!
Another small problem also, might be language. Now, Gerald will admit when he's irritated he can be pretty rough. He does some pretty serious cursing, but he doesn't believe it should be part of every day language, especially by young people. This would really upset the free expression people.